This problem costs people a great deal of grief and anxiety.
You must be wondering by now about this awful thing that is governing and crippling people. Believe it or not, this is something everybody struggles with at one point or another in their lives. Approval.
Ah! That word is the demise of so many! Here’s the deal, approval is one of our core emotional needs. We have to have it. From the time we are infants, we are taught how to seek our loved ones’ approval and it feels like a reward to have it.
I came across an article in World of Psychology that provided me with some more clarity. The author explained that we need approval to feel safe and secure. It’s like a safety net placed under our actions and thoughts.
Let’s make it short and sweet. Once our values are compromised, nothing good can come out of approval from others.
Here’s what I mean. If you are trying too hard, not being sincere or authentic, or agreeing with situations or people you would otherwise not even think of; then my friend, you are in a position of seeking approval from the wrong people for the wrong situation. Such a loss of freedom!
When you find yourself needing approval from someone, usually it is due to some type of insecurity. This of course means that you would have to start asking yourself the questions as to where this is stemming from.
Are you not being valued? Have you suffered from previous rejections? Do you have a negative image of yourself? Are you hiding from criticism (and why)? Those can be some underlying reasons why we seek approval from others so much. This can become crippling and suck the energy out of you: a cause serious anxiety. Approval seems to fill a certain void… What an illusion!
When I published quotes on the subject in the MeUnfinished Facebook and Instagram pages, they got quite a reaction. That tells me that there are many of us dealing with this situation and that work needs to be done in that department.
That is why I want to share with you today some of the things that have been working for me personally. I hope those three tips will at least get you on the road to Self-Love and Self-Worth:
- YOU ARE ENOUGH: Learn that you are all you need to get through this life and that you matter. Your opinions matter, who you are matters. With this premise, you can understand why you would not need other people’s approval. It is ok to seek wisdom and advice from others, but approval is a whole other ball game.
- ACCEPT YOURSELF: I mentioned Self-Love and Self-Worth earlier. Those are values you have to cherish with your whole heart. When you look at yourself, see someone worthy. If you are able to change your negative perception of yourself to a positive one, it will be Self-Acceptance will flow easily. As Dr. Dyer says in the Power of Intentions: “The more you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
- SHARE YOUR GIFTS: That is a practice tip to get the Self-Worth juices flowing. The more you are giving of your talents, the more you fine-tune them, the better you will feel and make others feel. There will be no room for “approval” because it is all coming from YOU. And nobody can do YOU better than YOU!
I hope we made at least a dent in the “approval” domain here. So many resources are at your fingertips! My hope is that you see how it can be a hinderance to you if you waste your time always seeking it.
Oh! And don’t think I already know how difficult it is to get rid of this parasite of “approval”! I have been on this journey myself and would like for you to successfully get beyond this issue as I walk this one with you.
So, what do you think of it all? What does seeking approval mean to you? Please share your thoughts with me, I would LOVE to know how you feel about this!
In the meantime, keep the Faith and share with others!