Belonging… Have you ever struggled with it? You know… belonging to a group of people, to a family, to an association, to a certain social rank, etc… Yes, it is a fundamental need for most humans and we all look for it at one point or another. The question is, do we belong where we WANT to belong? Hah! That’s the million dollar question.
I find this to be a fascinating subject. Some struggle tremendously with belongingness because they do not feel complete if they are not part of something. They struggle when they feel left out. Belonging to a group is somewhat defining for us humans. We are like a puzzle piece that has to fit where we choose.  crayons 10-6-14
So as I was exploring this concept, I decided to just observe people and read some on the subject. Goodness! You have no idea how much of a problem it becomes when we try to fit and the puzzle we thought we were part of is not accepting of us. Oh! The agony…
Instead of explaining some elaborate theory I have researched, I thought it more helpful to show you a little part you might have skipped while focusing on your “fitting obsession.” The question becomes: “So what if we do not fit?”
Who here believes in Providence or in the Universe? I believe in God, and the three schools of thought, here at least, will agree that things happen for a reason.
Have you thought about the fact that there are other places you are wanted and needed? Places (notice the “s” in Places) where you FIT?
New concept, I know… At times, it is difficult to deal with the feeling of rejection: It is hard to conceptualize that we are not part of what we so clearly envisioned being a valuable member of. I get it… But let’s explore a paradigm shift. What if there are places longing for your presence, for your input, for your consideration, for YOU? Hmmmm….. Changes everything, huh!?!
How do we get to our Promised Land? Through re-evaluation, and prioritizing. After all, it might only be a question of timing.
1- Take inventory of yourself and look at the situation with a candid eye. That can altogether empower you to make the right decisions and follow the natural progression of things. When you understand your worth, you can use this to be a blessing. Remember that you are in control of how you feel and why.
2- Check your list: who and what goes at the top? Ask yourself questions about why you think they deserve to hold a position of privilege. Is your ego in the way (be honest)? Who you decide to make a priority is critical, choose wisely.
I have to tell you, although it can be a difficult/lengthy process, there is nothing like overcoming the feeling of rejection. When you are able to release the sinking emotions, you are then able to make sound choices and commit to cultivating the areas that matter. Victory!
So, what have you learned from this quick read? Please share with others, but most importantly:
Keep the Faith!

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22 Responses to “Belonging…”

  1. We are born, belonging to a family; and from a young age, we are shaped to reflect that family value. Some of us belong to a specific Church, practice to follow the rules and that’s what makes us belong. As children, we belonged to groups, clubs, teams, and uniformed schools… and then the world throws us to foreign environments where groups already existed … some of us choose to adapt and others prefer to hold on to what they knew. We face the hard choice: to belong or to be independent. Sometimes, to belong we must slightly or dramatically reshape the puzzle piece; and sometimes, to be independent we might have to remain an island for a very long time – especially when the answer to what goes on top is “me”. I really like the way you put it: ” there is nothing like overcoming the feeling of rejection. When you are able to release the sinking emotions, you are then able to make sound choices and commit to cultivating the areas that matter.”

    • Thank you Johanne! You also put a great spin to it and I am sure that this can be the start of many very interesting discussions.
      Putting you at the top of the list of priorities is a wise move. We cannot give what we do not have, so let’s take good care of ourselves to be good blessings to others around us.

  2. Belonging is a need. In order to feel love and recieve love we must belong. God our father excepts us and loves us just as we are. It is not through our good works that gives us belonging, it is just through our being. We all belong to God. My identity is found here in Jesus where I am always excepted and loved. I belong, therefore I cannot be rejected!! im claiming this today, in Jesus name.

  3. What a great, thought-provoking post.

  4. Very interesting post. Makes you think about things.

  5. wow, I can relate to this article on so many levels!

  6. All about the priorities. I’ve been taking inventory lately and reorganizing myself.

  7. Nice read. I had this feeling from a couple of people on the worship team I was on. I left to take a break & so glad I did. Such a waste of time to practice one night a week, with people you have grown to dislike. I believe God wanted me to step back from my busy schedule. I miss singing but I also enjoy not leaving my my family once per week.

    • Your family is very important and like another reader pointed out earlier, You are also a priority.
      Thank you Vivayne!

      • In your small article above, you made some really great points.

        It is important to take inventory. I think often it is a natural progression humans just do it, break up into ‘tribes’. We are quick to make our own tribes and ‘shun’ others, yet when we are not in the ‘group’ we don’t understand.

        Sometimes it’s not personal, sometimes it is a natural social progression. The trick is to identify what ‘it’ is, decide on it’s importance, step away and gain some clarity.

        Anyway, thanks a ton for the great post 😀

  8. Love your choice of image. Those crayons speak volume. Good piece.

  9. I can relate so much. In more ways I just feel so distant and not welcome that I am ready to resign from one thin after the last 2 places I went

  10. Great post, I struggle with this as a generally quiet shy person until I really get to know people makes it difficult in social satiations.

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