Domestic Violence: 5 ways to deal with it.
I was hoping to tackle the topic of Domestic Violence next month since October is the National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but the news of Janay Rice being knocked out in an elevator by her then fiancé Ray Rice, blew up everybody’s media on Tuesday passed. What was your reaction on Day 6 since the broadcast? How would you feel it this were you? Do you know someone in the situation? Could this happen to you?
This issue is continuously rearing its ugly head until the proper attention to it is taken. This is what we call an evergreen problem: people should continue to talk about it and strive to prevent it. It deserves more than the very short-lived uproar of last week. Yes, today is only day 6 after the video/news came out, and we cannot even find it in the yahoo headlines unless we type in the names of the people involved, or Google it…
Of course we might not be able to eradicate domestic violence from society just yet (or could we?), but serious actions towards that end would be helpful. It should not take for a high-profile person to be in this situation for some noise to be heard. As a society, we should learn more about it, how to deal with it, and take actions towards preventing and manage it properly. You know… with the law. Violence is something adults are fully cable to contain, but when those adults do not understand that they have control of those emotions, they act out and hurt people around them. And the hurt can be deep.
What are some steps we can take toward attacking Domestic Violence? Well, I am glad you asked! Here are five things that can be done to help prevent and address this problem. Of course, this is just to scratch the surface but Awareness is the name of the game.
1- OK, so #1 is not your conventional option for domestic violence: Raise the children with self-confidence and self-esteem. Provide them with the tools necessary to learn how valuable they are. Build their self-worth for them to be able to contribute to it on their own by the time they enter adulthood. If you are raising children, this is one of the most valuable lessons you can teach them, and one of the best gifts you can give to them and is at the core of children’s foundation to become balanced adults. Domestic violence will have very little room to take root in someone who has developed high self-esteem and self-worth.
2- Being aware of domestic violence as a problem and believing it is REAL can make an enormous difference in the situation. We surely have to account for the fact that we are humans and the situations can vary. Humans are for the most part unpredictable and when they are unstable, the chances for unpredictability are greater. Being aware, learning about the signs of domestic violence, are some of the best ways you can arm yourself against it. Garner knowledge about the issue and be ready to use it when/if faced with this situation.
3- Believing it is REAL. Yes, I mentioned it twice. Believe that this is happening right from the get go. Do not have any tolerance for it at all. The minute you identify some of the signs, take action. Right away! Did I mention to take action NOW? Get moving toward help. Most of the time, when someone is being abused, they do not realize it right away. It is reported that most people victim of domestic violence are in disbelief that their loved ones could hurt them. Often we hear about excuses they make for the abuse…
4- This brings me to the third point: Excuses. Yes, this is another big issue: there are no excuses to be treated poorly. You are a human being and deserve love and affection. Love does not hurt whether with words or with actions. Nobody deserves to be put down, hit, verbally abused, belittled, etc. As people, we all make mistakes and are not perfect. We make amends, say we are sorry, and find ways to do better. Consequences should not be abuse in ANY way. There is no excuse for abuse.
5- If you are past the prevention stage, there is help. There IS help! You can call the abuse hotlines, you can talk to your friends and family about it. If you see a loved one in the situation, you can help them by providing information. They can contact ADVA, abuse hotlines, or the local police department. Please bear in mind that sometimes it takes you standing up for yourself for your message to be heard. People do not always believe there is a problem out there which is why we are still battling this issue. The very authorities that should be helping sometimes take time to believe there is a problem before they help.
While some people tend to abuse the system, domestic violence should be taken very seriously. As you know, it takes several instances before an abused person decides to leave their situation. The person being abused is not always well mentally while in the situation, therefore it is not helpful to judge them.
At the end of the day, be a blessing to someone in this situation. If you are the one: please seek help. This is real, and the first sign you get should be taken seriously. It is REAL and YES, it can happen to you.
Each person is worthy of love and affection: YOU are too! Love does not hurt and feels good. Going through rough times is normal when you are in love with someone, but abuse – verbal, physical, or emotional – is not OK.
Let’s stand up to domestic violence and keep the Faith that it will subside one day soon.
(resources throughout this post if you click on links – not following)