Fit In or Belong?
I have been studying about fitting in and belonging that has just blown my mind. Truthfully, I have not given it much thought until now. Fitting and belonging, do you know what knowing the difference can mean to your life?
I decided that to get a better understanding of the two concepts, I will go into the Merriam Webster dictionary and online to research their definitions.
Check it out:
To Belong: to be in the relation of a member, adherent, inhabitant, to have the proper qualifications, especially social qualifications, to be a member of a group, to be proper or due; be properly or appropriately placed, situated, to be in a proper place.
To Fit In: to be adapted to or suitable for (a purpose, object, occasion, etc.), to be proper or becoming for, to be of the right size or shape for, to adjust or make conform, to make qualified or competent, to put with precise placement or adjustment, to conform correctly to the shape or size of, to insert or adjust until correctly in place.
I have to say, it was much more difficult to find definitions for Belonging as opposed to Fitting In. I concluded that it was because the definition for belonging was plain and simple.
Either way, what I got out of it all is that it is better to belong than to fit in.
Of course there are some circumstances in life where we have to “fit in” – I cannot think about examples now, but there are plenty of times when we choose to fit in to make things work for our benefit.
The question is: Is it really in our advantage to “fit in”? If fitting in is to generally adapt, then we are compromising our true selves to a certain extent. We end up “conforming” ourselves and “making room or time” for something that does not come naturally.
When we look at belonging, the concept is oozes of “natural”. There is no effort involved in belonging. It just IS. You do not have to DO anything, you just ARE. It is just flowing out of you and you don’t have to actually “make time or space” because it is within your own time and space – built in. Do you see what I mean? No efforts are needed when we belong, it is just within.
So let me make this short and sweet for you today: the next time you find yourself working hard to be part of something, take the time to think about it. Don’t compromise yourself! If it isn’t a natural thing, you just might be trying to “fit in”. Is this what you really want?