So you got MAD… What do you do next? (and exciting announcement!)
Wow! I had something totally different to talk to you about today, but … Well, have you ever gotten very mad and you did not know what to do with yourself, and got a bit “over-angry”? You know… That moment when you realize that you were not able to process your feelings in a more mature and appropriate way… Uggrrrhhh!!! Nothing feels worse than the “after-burst”. It does not even matter if you were right or justified.
No, I am not planning on ranting and raving about how I got totally P’d about life or a situation, but I am trying to communicate a healthy process to get back to yourself and mend with others whom you might have hurt along the way. What happens when you lose your composure? Now, people, I am not talking about the major outbursts where indescribable words and actions have taken place (physical and verbal abuse). I am talking about yelling because the dishes are not done “AGAIN” or that you slam a few doors as you go to your room to pout because nobody cared to put away their laundry for the fourth day in a row…
There is no real word to express the feeling of disappointment and shame that follow an outburst. You actually get more upset at yourself at the end because you could not really calm down and let it all out… It is a disgusting feeling in the pit of my stomach. You got MAD…
What does one do to move on? Here are three tips to help you get out of this sinking feeling:
- Acknowledge you have overreacted. Stop for a minute and realize that you have went overboard. The best way to start working on fixing mistakes is to admit it. It does not matter that you were justified. At that point, you operated on uncontrolled frustration, not rationale. It takes a few minutes to calm down, so remove yourself from the situation and get back to yourself first to really take stock of what happened.
- Chances are you have hurt some people along the way as you are hurt too. Listen, we are all humans and we all make mistakes. So do your best to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness from the people you hurt during your angry bout and give them time to process as you did.
- When everybody is calm, sit down and talk it through. What I mean is to make sure you express your feelings calmly and explain what you wanted to convey before you got carried away. Also, very importantly, make sure you are able to listen to the others’ points of view as well. Look for common ground not justification.
I hope you find this helpful. To boot, here is an article that can help you with preventing the outbursts. It is simple, short, and I liked it J
So, how do you deal with getting mad? Are you able to contain yourself? What is your process? Please share with us as we need each other on this journey and so many could benefit from your experience!
PS: I promised that I had an announcement in the video last week, and I do: MeUnfinished will be hosting Guest Posts very soon! I am working on contributions and I will make an official announcement in the upcoming weeks. Soooooo exciting!
If you are interested in contributing, Yay! Please drop me a line in the comments section or shoot me an email. I can’t wait to hear from you!