So you got MAD… What do you do next? (and exciting announcement!)

Wow!  I had something totally different to talk to you about today, but … Well, have you ever gotten very mad and you did not know what to do with yourself, and got a bit “over-angry”?  You know…  That moment when you realize that you were not able to process your feelings in a more mature and appropriate way…  Uggrrrhhh!!!  Nothing feels worse than the “after-burst”.  It does not even matter if you were right or justified.

MeUnfinished.com

MeUnfinished.com

No, I am not planning on ranting and raving about how I got totally P’d about life or a situation, but I am trying to communicate a healthy process to get back to yourself and mend with others whom you might have hurt along the way.  What happens when you lose your composure?  Now, people, I am not talking about the major outbursts where indescribable words and actions have taken place (physical and verbal abuse).  I am talking about yelling because the dishes are not done “AGAIN” or that you slam a few doors as you go to your room to pout because nobody cared to put away their laundry for the fourth day in a row…

There is no real word to express the feeling of disappointment and shame that follow an outburst.  You actually get more upset at yourself at the end because you could not really calm down and let it all out…  It is a disgusting feeling in the pit of my stomach.  You got MAD…

What does one do to move on?  Here are three tips to help you get out of this sinking feeling:

  • Acknowledge you have overreacted. Stop for a minute and realize that you have went overboard.  The best way to start working on fixing mistakes is to admit it.  It does not matter that you were justified.  At that point, you operated on uncontrolled frustration, not rationale.  It takes a few minutes to calm down, so remove yourself from the situation and get back to yourself first to really take stock of what happened.
  • Chances are you have hurt some people along the way as you are hurt too. Listen, we are all humans and we all make mistakes.  So do your best to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness from the people you hurt during your angry bout and give them time to process as you did.
  • When everybody is calm, sit down and talk it through. What I mean is to make sure you express your feelings calmly and explain what you wanted to convey before you got carried away.  Also, very importantly, make sure you are able to listen to the others’ points of view as well.  Look for common ground not justification.

I hope you find this helpful.  To boot, here is an article that can help you with preventing the outbursts.  It is simple, short, and I liked it J

So, how do you deal with getting mad?  Are you able to contain yourself?  What is your process?  Please share with us as we need each other on this journey and so many could benefit from your experience!

PS: I promised that I had an announcement in the video last week, and I do: MeUnfinished will be hosting Guest Posts very soon!  I am working on contributions and I will make an official announcement in the upcoming weeks.  Soooooo exciting!

If you are interested in contributing, Yay!  Please drop me a line in the comments section or shoot me an email.  I can’t wait to hear from you!

In Faith,

Martine

GET OUR NEWSLETTER
Join now to:
✓ get empowered
✓ live a better life
✓ reach your purpose
I hate spam too. So your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else.

15 Responses to “So you got MAD… What do you do next? (and exciting announcement!)”

  1. Ugh…I TOTALLY feel it coming on inside me. I can contain it, but sometimes I just let myself go over the edge because it feels like such a release (and then I deal with the guilt repurcussions you mention). It’s helped that I can know own and acknowledge that falling off the cliff is my choice and not just “I lost control!” Thankfully, it happens much less than it used to!

    • Kristina, I am so glad it happens much less now! Owning our feelings and knowing how to learn from our falls can make such a difference. But, we are human, right? So we are (as MeUnfinished’s tagline says)a work in progress!
      🙂

  2. These are some great tips! I need to work on these things!

  3. These are all great ideas. Personally, when I get “upset,” I practice ho’oponopono. It grounds me and within minutes, I feel relaxed. That’s what works best for me.

  4. I can relate to this post completely. I have a huge issue with making things right though. I do not like to admit that I was wrong (Shh don’t tell anyone that hehe). I get so angry that I say things I do not mean and then it all blows up from there. Very good tips and I will have to use them.

    • I Am glad you found those tips helpful, Angela! I Hope they work for you and it would really be cool if you could come back and share how they worked for you!
      ps: your secret is safe with us here (whispering)!

  5. Really good advice. Sometimes admitting you overreacting is all that’s needed to solve the problem. Anger can cause so many problems that can last for years. It’s good to identify a few key ways to reduce the problem, as you do in your article.

    • Thanks Theresa! You are right in saying that anger causes long term damage. Please feel free to pass those tools along, my hope is that they can make a positive difference in some lives 🙂

  6. Such good advice.

  7. This is great advice that I can use. I need to step back and look at the situation and do what I know is the right thing to do regardless of my emotions or embarrassment. 🙂

    • Tami, it is the hardest thing to do sometimes: step back and assess the situation. I am sure that with some practice, you are already on your way to mastering this skill. Come back and visit us soon and share what is working for you and how you are doing it. Thanks! 🙂

  8. Yep, those feelings again and again. How do we manage them before they get the best out of us? making those changes in response comes with constant practice as this piece points out. As suggested, ‘stepping back to assess” is the first step. Assess the source of the disappointment that led to the outburst in the first place and make amends as suggested is good practice to working though the process of managing feelings.
    Unmet expectation leads to disappointment, disappointment leads to frustration. frustration leads to feeling powerless and so on…
    Having a plan b for when others do not meet our expectations can be part of the resolution to getting mad.
    Great tips! We can all relate to getting MAD.

  9. Yep, those feelings again and again. How do we manage them before they get the best out of us? making those changes in response comes with constant practice as this piece points out. As suggested, ‘stepping back to assess” is the first step. Assess the source of the disappointment that led to the outburst in the first place and make amends as suggested is good practice to working though the process of managing feelings.
    Unmet expectation leads to disappointment, disappointment leads to frustration. frustration leads to feeling powerless and so on…
    Having a plan b for when others do not meet our expectations can be part of the resolution to getting mad.
    Great tips! We can all relate to getting MAD.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: