Self Love anyone? #2 in the Loving series

IMG_3638 2YES!  I am selfish, I admit it!

On our second installment of this Loving Series, we will be working on ourselves: Self Love.

I firmly believe that in order for me to be good to others, I have to know how to be good to me first.  Might sound selfish, but imagine this: if I have not made it to the “other side”, how can I encourage others to cross over?  Would you trust someone who is egging you on to cross over a huge ditch if they had not done it first?  Yeah…

So we have established that I am “selfish” for lack of a better concept: we cannot give what we do not have.

Let’s unpack this a bit so you can get something to work with when the negative thoughts invade.


If you remember, in the first article, we posed a few questions to help you identify what type of lover you are and if you were effective.  I want to put in a disclaimer that every now and then we are the Love Drainer.  We get there sometimes, it’s human…  What we have to watch is the frequency and duration of this “drainer state” that makes a difference in the relationship.

I had promised to share some truths I had learned along the way that will kickstart your Love-Giver journey and will keep you moving forward.  Here are Four of them:

  • Do you know how much you are worth?  That is the multi-million-dollar question!  I personally

FullSizeRender 2 do not believe we can define that because the answer would take a lifetime to answer.  THAT’S HOW MUCH YOU ARE WORTH!  I am not talking about being vain or arrogant.  I am talking about knowing that you belong to THE King, and therefore you ARE all that and a lot more.  Once you believe this, it helps you shift your paradigm enough to open some new doors you might not have known existed.  Think about it, you are already at the top whether you know it/accept it or not.



  • Now you know that you started out as a winner, you must now decide to act like it.  When you are down and your “Love-yourself” tank is running low, there is nothing like a self pep talk.  Remind yourself that you are worthy and that you have many attributes that make you unique.  Start a list of what you do well and revisit it as often as you need to.  Nobody can do you better than, well, YOU.  That counts for a lot because you are a needed piece of the universe’s puzzle.
Most importantly!

Most importantly!

  • Explore yourself and find things you are good at.  Whether it is to listen to others, making music, talking, painting, dancing, planting, you are gifted with an ability you have to dig into in order to make your world go round.  NOBODY can do this for you.  This is something that has to be self-generated. This helps you find your purpose!
  • You are not just going to fall a couple of times in life. The trick is not to recognize you have been knocked down, but it’s in learning how to get back up each time more efficiently.  You will put your foot in your mouth quite a few times, my friend.  You will make some crappy decisions, and will be at the wrong place at the wrong time several times…  BUT! YOU ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES!  So shed the weight of those faux-pas and like we talked about it earlier, get into your feel-good materials to lift yourself right back on your feet!

This is just to get you started.  Happiness is generated within and that is how you start building your Love Giver self.  Learn that unless you fabricate your own Self-Love, it does not last nor is fulfilling. You cannot cultivate Love Giving unless you know how to Self Love.

You CAN have YOUR OWN way and it is OK to be you.  FullSizeRender 3

It might take time to believe and understand that being yourself is enough.  But keep at it because that is how you will be more successful at navigating your relationships.  

I challenge you then to get on your feet!   Start the work so you can quickly reap the amazing benefits of being YOU.  Still think I’m selfish?




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23 Responses to “Self Love anyone? #2 in the Loving series”

  1. Oh, I absolutely adore that cartoon. You don’t find happiness, you create it. It’s inside you. You just have to bring it out.

  2. It is so important to make sure you can love yourself. I love that cartoon, it is so true to make a cartoon.

  3. Yes this is the absolute truth. No one can create happiness for you.

  4. That little comic is so sweet! This is such a great post! It’s so true that finding things that you’re good at (and believing it!) really helps at being happier.

    • Thank you Marybeth! I thought this cartoon was just amazing and sharing it was a must. I am glad you found this post to be useful. Please share with others and let’s be part of spreading the word about Happy! 🙂

  5. If you don’t love yourself, it’s really hard for anyone else to do it, that’s a fact.

  6. Self love is hard sometimes. I know that happiness comes from one source. I also know that Im worth it but sometimes it can be hazy.

    • Well, it is not always a smooth road Christy. Give yourself a chance to get it together when you come undone. It’s part of the process of loving yourself 🙂

  7. “You cannot cultivate Love Giving unless you know how to Self Love.” – I totally agree with this. And yes, happiness starts from you. It doesn’t happen, it is a choice you make.

  8. I love this post! You have to be able to love yourself! I know it can be hard sometimes but I do believe in loving yourself in order for others to love you as well.

    • Thank you Kathy! It is not easy at times, but the more we work at it, the easier it gets to deal with the moments we are not too crazy about ourselves 🙂

  9. I love that cartoon as it makes me smile. It reminds me that I can control my happiness.

  10. Loving yourself is so important and i think it is important to be selfish at times!

  11. Wow… this post made me think a lot. I haven’t been feeling good recently and I’ve been doubting myself a lot. Thanks for this, I really needed to read it.

  12. I LOVE this cartoon! It’s so true too and definitely something we all need to remember more often! Great post!

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