Self Love anyone? #2 in the Loving series
On our second installment of this Loving Series, we will be working on ourselves: Self Love.
I firmly believe that in order for me to be good to others, I have to know how to be good to me first. Might sound selfish, but imagine this: if I have not made it to the “other side”, how can I encourage others to cross over? Would you trust someone who is egging you on to cross over a huge ditch if they had not done it first? Yeah…
So we have established that I am “selfish” for lack of a better concept: we cannot give what we do not have.
Let’s unpack this a bit so you can get something to work with when the negative thoughts invade.
If you remember, in the first article, we posed a few questions to help you identify what type of lover you are and if you were effective. I want to put in a disclaimer that every now and then we are the Love Drainer. We get there sometimes, it’s human… What we have to watch is the frequency and duration of this “drainer state” that makes a difference in the relationship.
I had promised to share some truths I had learned along the way that will kickstart your Love-Giver journey and will keep you moving forward. Here are Four of them:
- Do you know how much you are worth? That is the multi-million-dollar question! I personally
do not believe we can define that because the answer would take a lifetime to answer. THAT’S HOW MUCH YOU ARE WORTH! I am not talking about being vain or arrogant. I am talking about knowing that you belong to THE King, and therefore you ARE all that and a lot more. Once you believe this, it helps you shift your paradigm enough to open some new doors you might not have known existed. Think about it, you are already at the top whether you know it/accept it or not.
- Now you know that you started out as a winner, you must now decide to act like it. When you are down and your “Love-yourself” tank is running low, there is nothing like a self pep talk. Remind yourself that you are worthy and that you have many attributes that make you unique. Start a list of what you do well and revisit it as often as you need to. Nobody can do you better than, well, YOU. That counts for a lot because you are a needed piece of the universe’s puzzle.
- Explore yourself and find things you are good at. Whether it is to listen to others, making music, talking, painting, dancing, planting, you are gifted with an ability you have to dig into in order to make your world go round. NOBODY can do this for you. This is something that has to be self-generated. This helps you find your purpose!
- You are not just going to fall a couple of times in life. The trick is not to recognize you have been knocked down, but it’s in learning how to get back up each time more efficiently. You will put your foot in your mouth quite a few times, my friend. You will make some crappy decisions, and will be at the wrong place at the wrong time several times… BUT! YOU ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES! So shed the weight of those faux-pas and like we talked about it earlier, get into your feel-good materials to lift yourself right back on your feet!
This is just to get you started. Happiness is generated within and that is how you start building your Love Giver self. Learn that unless you fabricate your own Self-Love, it does not last nor is fulfilling. You cannot cultivate Love Giving unless you know how to Self Love.
It might take time to believe and understand that being yourself is enough. But keep at it because that is how you will be more successful at navigating your relationships.
I challenge you then to get on your feet! Start the work so you can quickly reap the amazing benefits of being YOU. Still think I’m selfish?