The Baggage. Who helps you unpack?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAHave you ever had a day when you woke up praying that God would send you a few words of guidance to help you not fall flat on your face that day?  That’s how it started for me the other day…

There was lots on my mind and it all woke me up from my sleep.  If you remember, I sometimes have to deal with a very unwanted guest in my life called “anxiety“.  Oh! How this makes me mad! When I am having a perfectly good bout of sleep and my mind wakes up before I do!!!!

That day, when I went for my massage, I met a pretty cool lady who dropped a word in my heart that I could not bear to keep to myself.

She spoke to the negative self-talk and the “what ifs” that were slowly rising from the inner corners of my mind.  Oh! No!  “Not again!” I thought…  So I practiced my breathing, said some affirmations, and also prayed.

I felt better, but then asked that a “WORD” would be sent my way to keep me uplifted.  That’s where my lady friend comes in.

Oh! We were having a grand ole’ time talking about life and how sometimes we allow our minds to wander where it should not and for worry to take over our sanity.

I made the comment: “Oh! You know…  We all have baggage we carry into our relationships…”

She completed with: “… And it takes the right people to help us unpack…”

BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That hit me like a ton of bricks!

DCF 1.0Do you feel it? 

Let’s “unpack” this for a minute (no real pun intended, but I could not resist.)

The right people…”  Isn’t this loaded right there?  Gosh!  When she said that, all the horrible thoughts were all of a sudden dissipated…  It takes the “right people to help us unpack”.  REVELATION!

As I pondered this statement, I realized (and I could be wrong, but it works so good for me!) that if you are allowing the wrong people into your life, you might actually pack on more crap! And then we wonder why we have such negative self-talk!  Hah!

It starts with learning how to choose the “right” people.  We come with a set of baggage and as we mature we are to learn how to choose the individuals who edify, help, love, support us; and who also tell us like it is to help us grow.

Underneath all this is where our gifts lie.

The right people are there to make sure, one layer after another, we are rid of the fluff until the real meaty stuff comes out: our purposes, our gifts, our talents.  And with hurt, the layers keep getting thicker and harder just like a piece of plaster that is wet and pliable at first that sets and gets hard with exposure to air and time…

Some even think they can unpack themselves…  Not too sure how that works out though…

Unpacking 9-16-15My lady friend was on point and I was afforded a powerful tool to deal with the negative thoughts.  It is like a chain reaction from one positive thought to the other when you start thinking about how rich your life is because of the right people around you!

By the time I was done with that conversation, I felt like a brand new person!  Talk about an answer to my prayer!  I have been on a high since then.

Remember, you are worth it, and the “unpackers” know and appreciate you. They are interested in helping you shine.  You might also find yourself being a mighty “unpacker” too!

So, my friends, I leave you with this thought: are you carefully choosing the people you allow in your life?  You now have this tool to assess the ones you have now: are they helping you unpack or are they packing more onto you?

I want to hear from you!  How do you recognize the Unpackers in your life?  Do you have to make some changes in your relationships?

Mmmm…. Faith speaks loud here!

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75 Responses to “The Baggage. Who helps you unpack?”

  1. I need to apply that in my life I am happy to learn this today.

  2. Oh I like this one very much…Vulnerability –
    I believe Dr. Brene Brown says “people have to earn the right to hear your story”. For me, to be vulnerable is to completely surrender and let the Universe take over then one does not have to be concerned with the worry, anxiety or “what ifs”. Thank you my dear ~Namaste~

  3. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) Reply October 5, 2015 at 5:59 am

    The people who you choose to let surround you in your life are there for good reason (usually). It is important to have a good support system.

  4. “… And it takes the right people to help us unpack…”

    I love what she said and yes, we need to apply this in our lives. If we allow the wrong people to surround us, our baggage may only get heavier.

  5. In my experience, unpacking is the only way to really have a happy life. All of that baggage weighs you down!

  6. I agree with Stacie. I like to surround myself with positive people and distance myself from the wrong people.

  7. This is a great reminder that you don’t have to carry everything yourself. If you have the right people in your life then they help carry every load.

  8. I am very thankful that I am aware of who my “unpackers” are in my life. It is very important to have people to help you shoulder the load.

  9. “And it takes the right people to help us unpack”

    That one statement means so much. I have never ever thought of it that way, and I am so happy to read your post about this. I don’t really think I have anxiety attacks, but I do wake up in the night worrying about stuff. Lately it has gotten better, but I still have days where I feel like I still do not have the “right” people in my life even though I have done a lot of weeding out over the years.

  10. This is such an important topic. So greatful I have amazing unpackers surrounded me.

  11. Yup. It’s all about the right people. My family was toxic for me and I temporarily had to cut them off and I feel better than I ever have in my entire life. I finally feel empowered and like I can do anything. My husband and children help me unpack. 🙂

  12. I think your unpackers vary on the situation. I have family unpackers, friend unpackers, and work unpackers. I use them according to what situation I am dealing with in life at that moment.

  13. What a gem. Yes, we do carry this baggage and then we bump into people that help us see we do not need to carry it around anymore. This lady was very wise and I am so glad you got to have this conversation with her. I also love the beautiful rocks that are the backdrop of your blog…. so serene and earthy.

  14. Great post! I definitely need to unpack some things in my life and find the right people to help me!

  15. These are some excellent points. I know there are some “Go-to” friends and family members I can talk to for help and support.

  16. i swear i wake up like this so often! i love these points and will be keeping this for some inspiration on those hard days!

  17. I find that most of the time, our ‘baggage’ is in fact everyone else’s baggage, or at least the weight they place on us!

    • Hmmm… I guess you mean that you take on other people’s expectations of you and turn it into baggage… Maybe we should stop accepting that people “place the weight” upon us.

  18. That was a great eye opener. I love the idea of a good person helping me unpack my baggage.

  19. I have worked hard to get rid of my baggage. I’m not 100% there but I think I’m pretty close.

    I am also attending the SOAR Retreat in Miami in a couple of weeks.=)

  20. My best friend is always there for me on these occasions. And I’m there for her, so important to have someone to count on.

  21. I’m always the ‘unpacker’ in most relationships, I’m a problem solver and I’m resourceful and people tend to take advantage of that sometimes. It’s exhausting to be honest, I wish someone would come along and do MY ‘unpacking’ for a change. People assume if you are strong you always *WANT* to be…..

    • Oh! And that is indeed the Million Dollar solution, Tracy!!! People do not always understand that the “unpacker” needs to unpack too… YOU have to set those precedence by letting your loved ones know when you need a break, a shoulder to cry on, someone to let loose with. You have to let the people who love you know that you need to “unpack” too. You will be amazed as to how quickly they will rally around you and be your champions!

  22. Very powerful post right there! I’m glad a friend helped you realize this and in return here you are sharing the lesson with other people, kudos to both of you. It’s definitely a challenge to let people in, but it’s also worth it when you find the right people.

    • Thank you Elizabeth! It is indeed hard to let people in, but the general consensus is that when we find the right people to do it with, it is SO WORTH IT! 🙂

  23. What an important message. I really need to practice this more!

  24. I am thankful that I had a friend who was dear enough to love me and show me that unpacking the junk wasn’t as bad as we make it out to be. In fact, it was very freeing to unpack my baggage. 🙂

  25. I love this post! It’s so important to have the right people help you unpack that baggage! Having a strong support system for ANY event in your life, is so key!

  26. This is such a great post! I definitely need to unpack some baggage in my life.

  27. This is so true. We need to fill our lives with people that can help us heal and move on. You feel so free when you can let go.

  28. I used to be the listener. Right now I’m the one carrying the baggage, but I try to be very careful who I unload any of it on. 🙂

    • Rosey, it’s ok to have to be the one unpacking sometimes. Being wise about who you choose to unpack with is where it’s at. I hope you are able to do it safely and uninhibitedly!

  29. Yes, I do choose people that I allow in my life. Life is short. I surely don’t want to spend or waste it with the wrong people.

  30. You have to unpack to be successful in anything in life!!! Baggage just clutters life up and you’re better off without it 😉

  31. I’m so lucky to have an amazing husband that I can share everything with. This is a post that really makes you think!

  32. Great post! This made me think of all the people in my life right now. It’s amazing to know who your “unpackers” are, those who’ll make life easier and less stressful. Those are the people worth keeping.

  33. Wow, I’m so glad this friend had such wise words for you. I also have to deal with anxiety and it’s no fun, but when we are surroudned by the right peope who help us unpack our mental baggage, it helps a great deal.

  34. Surrounding ourselves with good support, positive friends who are honest is invaluable. Baggage is certainly raw and vulnerable. It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion. Thanks for sharing!

  35. I really like your post. I myself have Anxiety. I don’t have many people in my life though.

    • Bonnie, you might not have many people in your life, but it can still be rich with the ones you do. Make sure they are people who bring you positive experiences while being true to you and who are looking out for your interest. Even with just one person, you can have amazing experiences 🙂

  36. I agree, it is important to surround ourselves around positive people. I’ve pretty much distanced myself from the people who are most likely to bring me down, and not understand me for who I am.

  37. Great reminder, life is much easier without the baggage and with someone to help carry the load. In order to have a positive life we must first be positive and surround ourselves with positive people! Thank you!

  38. I have greatly “unpacked” over the years, because life is too fleeting to be surrounded by constant negativity. I agree that the right people can help you “unpack”, which can help simplify life even more. 🙂

  39. I have never looked at the unpacker idea from this angle. This is a great way to look at the positive people in your life.

  40. This is super insightful. What a great message to share. Thanks!

  41. It is true there is a ton of vulnerability in unpacking and it seems this is what prevents a lot of people from talking. Excellent post!

  42. May indicate you are opening yourself up and you are ready to deal with the issues you have been repressing or denying.

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